Marriage equality isn’t just a legal term; it’s about love, family, and the right to live authentically in a society that respects all relationships. As someone who met the love of my life in 2006, got married in 2016, and raised a family, I can personally attest to the life-changing significance of marriage equality. It’s not just about legal protections—it’s about dignity and the comfort of knowing that your relationship is recognized. But while we celebrate the strides we’ve made, it’s clear that more work lies ahead, particularly in the fight to pass the Equality Act.
That’s why voting in this upcoming election is crucial. The leaders we choose will have the power to protect or dismantle the rights that impact our families and our futures. By voting, we ensure that marriage equality, and the broader fight for LGBTQ+ rights, continues to move forward, not backward. Remember to check your voter registration at vote.org to make sure your voice is heard. Your vote directly shapes the laws that protect our love, our families, and our communities.
Our Story: Love, Marriage, and Raising a Family
In 2006, I met my husband, Derek, at Gold’s Gym in Hollywood. His trainer introduced us, and we instantly connected—our smart-ass personalities complementing each other. From that moment on, our lives became intertwined. Fast forward to 2016, when we got married in Santa Margarita, California, surrounded by friends and family. Our wedding was not just a celebration of love but also a victory for marriage equality—a time of emotional weight for us and countless others. We didn’t marry only for love; we married to affirm our rights, protect the life we built together, and solidify our family unit.
One of the proudest accomplishments of our marriage has been raising our son. Every day, we grow more in our roles as parents, offering him the stability and security that a loving, legally recognized family brings. For us, marriage grounded our relationship in ways we hadn’t fully anticipated. It provided us with a sense of legal safety and confirmed our place as a family in the eyes of the world.
Still, as a gay couple, we continue to face challenges. Even after marriage, people question the legitimacy of our relationship. At our son’s school or during doctor’s visits, we’re often asked, “Are you a family member?”, “Where’s his mother?”, or “Is your wife here?” These moments serve as reminders that, for many, same-sex relationships are still scrutinized. Marriage equality matters for exactly these reasons—because it grants the legitimacy, protection, and recognition that LGBTQ+ couples, like any other, deserve.
Photography by Jeff Newsom
The Emotional and Legal Importance of Marriage Equality
Marriage is more than a wedding; it offers the comfort and security of legal protection. Before marriage equality, LGBTQ+ couples dealt with numerous challenges that heterosexual couples never had to consider. Partners were barred from hospital visits, inheritance laws ignored long-term relationships, and countless other areas of life lacked legal protection for LGBTQ+ families. These issues weren’t just inconvenient—they were devastating.
Marriage removed many of those obstacles. We no longer worry about being treated as “legal strangers” if one of us gets sick or about who gets to make decisions for the other during critical moments. Being married meant our relationship finally gained recognition equal to anyone else’s. And with that recognition came a sense of belonging—not just to each other but to society at large.
But marriage equality is also about showing the world that LGBTQ+ love is valid, worthy, and deserving of respect. When we got married, we felt truly seen. No longer were we forced to justify our love to others. That validation went beyond words—it transformed how we saw our place in the world.
Why We Still Need the Equality Act
Despite the landmark Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) ruling that legalized same-sex marriage in the U.S., LGBTQ+ rights remain under threat. Marriage equality was a monumental step, but more challenges remain. This is where the Equality Act becomes essential. Passed by the House of Representatives but still waiting for Senate approval, the Equality Act seeks to secure broader LGBTQ+ rights across the country.
The Equality Act would amend the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to include protections against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. It covers areas such as housing, employment, education, and public services. The Act would make it illegal to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people nationwide, regardless of the state they live in.
Right now, in many states, LGBTQ+ people can still face discrimination in essential areas of life. The lack of legal protection leaves individuals vulnerable, especially in conservative parts of the country. Passing the Equality Act would ensure that LGBTQ+ people enjoy the same federal protections as others.
As a married gay man, I understand how important these protections are. While marriage equality granted my husband and me certain legal rights, it didn’t shield us from discrimination in other areas. The Equality Act is the next crucial step toward achieving true equality for all.
Why Marriage Equality Still Matters—and Always Will
For me, marriage equality is personal. It’s about the love I share with my husband, the life we’ve built together, and the family we raise. Beyond my experience, though, marriage equality reflects a broader commitment to justice and equality. Marriage, as a societal institution, represents something foundational, and denying that right denies an essential part of human dignity.
For LGBTQ+ people, marriage equality marked a significant victory, but it needs constant protection. We’ve seen recent attempts to roll back rights—whether through laws targeting transgender individuals or court decisions weakening LGBTQ+ protections. The fear that marriage equality could be undone remains very real. That’s why we can’t let up in our fight—not just for ourselves but for future generations.
When my husband and I got married, it wasn’t just about us. It honored those who fought before us, many of whom didn’t live to see their love recognized by the law. It was about ensuring that future LGBTQ+ couples won’t have to fight as hard for their rights.
A Call to Action: Protecting Love and Equality for Future Generations
Marriage equality isn’t just a milestone—it’s a call to action. We must remain vigilant to ensure that the rights we’ve won are not taken away. The passage of the Equality Act is vital to securing a future where all LGBTQ+ individuals can live freely, marry whomever they love, and live without fear of discrimination.
For me, being married to the love of my life is a privilege, a joy, and a responsibility. It reminds me of the power of love, the necessity of equality, and our role in making the world more just. Let’s keep fighting for marriage equality, the Equality Act, and the right of every person to live authentically, proudly, and without discrimination.
Because love—no matter who it’s between—deserves to be recognized, protected, and celebrated.
#MarriageEquality #EqualityAct #LoveIsLove #LGBTQIA
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