Posted on

The Guest List


Derek and I are getting married next year. We have been talking about this for the last two plus years. Over the last eight years we have created our amazing family and made friends that have become like family. We have been fortunate so pulling together the guest list should be easy, right?

Well, sort of. Our guest list will be somewhat long, around 150 people – we actually decided to cap it there. And yes, this is longer then we imagined when we first started thinking about this two years ago. Once you start thinking about it, there are so many people that bring meaning to your life that the question becomes: when does the guest list pass from being an intimate affair to a full on conference?

We started with the usual: parents, siblings & kids, aunts, uncles & cousins – this number came to 30 give or take (it could be more but I suspect a few would not be able to attend). It’s a good start. A small intimate family wedding sounds nice doesn’t it? Hang out with the in-laws. Keep it casual. Have a few beers and then get hitched. Sometimes I still can’t believe I’ll be able to use terms like in-law with true recognition of law in its meaning. Surrounding yourself with family on one of the best days of your life seems like a nice way to spend the day, but you know we can’t stop there.

Next, we decided we had friends that felt like family who we would want there with us. Our friend Jeffery would be at the top of that list. His support over the last ten years has allowed Derek and me to build and strengthen our relationship by being Leo’s uncle. Always there as another guiding light in Leo’s life, his commitment to our family has been consistent and steady. Because of this connection we also have decided to ask Jeffery to officiate the ceremony. There are a few others in our ‘fr-amily’ that we added to the list. Friends were added who stood by each of us before we were a couple and continue to be there today. Friends we have made together as a family. For our son, these represent his lifetime of relationships. Now we are up to 60+ guests.

Yes, the list goes on topping out at 127 for now – leaving us lots of room for adding and subtracting. Unexpectedly, the most beautiful thing about making this list is that we are able to look at moments with each person, couple and family we invited, what connected us to them and why we felt it was important to have them be a part of our celebration of each other. Friends and family help mold us into the people we finally choose to be. So here we are at the beginning of our wedding journey remembering some amazing people and what they brought to our lives, there by completing our guest list. Now to get location booked, the ‘Save The Date’ cards and the invitations designed. Yikes.

How did you decide on your guest list?

Posted on